Babies cry. It’s a fact of life—and it’s developmentally normal. It’s how we know they’re hungry, hurting, have a dirty diaper, or are just ready for a nap. But sometimes babies cry for no reason at all, and constant crying can make overly-tired parents feel frustrated and stressed out.
Many baby experts use a specific set of strategies to help infants soothe faster. Dubbed “The 5 Ss,” this method of calming baby (coined by pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp) includes five specific techniques to help your little one stop crying: Swaddle, Side/Stomach, Shush, Swing and Suck. Each of these techniques help mimic baby’s environment in the womb, which helps them feel calm and safe.
To put the 5 Ss into practice, begin with the first step, Swaddle, and build up to the last step, Suck, if your baby is still inconsolable. You might find that your little one only needs a few steps to feel calmer, while others might need all 5. And the hard truth is… sometimes nothing you do seems to work. Babies are highly unpredictable, and what works one time simply may not the next time they’re fussy. Practice with your baby, see what works for both of you, and try to have empathy for your little one—after all, crying is their only way to communicate that they need something (or just want to snuggle their mama).
1. Swaddle
Swaddling helps baby feel like they’re right back in the womb. Feeling snug with limited mobility helps to decrease their startle reflex, and might just calm them right down (if not put them to sleep). Swaddling may take some practice, but when done correctly it can be one of the keys to feeling comforted.
To swaddle your baby, lay out a large square blanket, and fold one corner toward the middle. Lay baby in the center, with their shoulders just below the fold you made. Place one of baby’s arms to the side of their body (slightly bent), and pull the same side’s corner of the blanket snugly across baby’s chest. Tuck the edge of the swaddle under baby’s body. Next, fold the bottom corner of the blanket up and over baby’s feet, and tuck this corner in by their shoulder. Place baby’s free arm alongside their body, and pull the remaining corner snugly across baby’s chest. Tuck the loose side underneath baby, and voila! Be sure baby’s hips are loose and flexed, and that baby is only swaddled when they’re asleep or fussy.
2. Side or Stomach Position
After you’ve swaddled your little one, pick them up to comfort them. Try holding them securely on their side in the crook of your arm, or on their stomach facing you at your shoulder. If you’re in a chair, you could also lean back and let baby lay stomach to stomach on your chest. While it’s important to put baby down on their back for safe sleep, for soothing, follow the Ss and with baby on their Side or Stomach.
3. Shush
When your baby is in the womb, it’s anything but quiet. In fact, the blood rushing through your veins makes a constant, loud “whooshing” noise that your unborn baby probably became accustomed to. This is why many babies respond to their parents making shushing sounds (shhhhhhhh), and why many sleep experts recommend the use of a white noise machine. Mimicking this sound might just be the trick to helping baby’s fussing come to an end.
4. Swing
Imagine being carried around in a person’s body for 40 weeks. Babies are constantly experiencing movement as mom walks, goes down stairs, rolls over in her sleep, etc. To replicate these motions, try making tiny swinging or light jiggling motions, rather than slow rocking motions while trying to calm baby. While it might seem counterintuitive, it just might do the trick when baby is really worked up. It’s important to keep these movements small and calm. For the safety of your baby never, ever, shake them in anger or frustration as you’re trying to get them to stop crying.
5. Suck
This is the final step of the 5 Ss, and the one to use when a combination of the rest simply don’t do the trick. Many fussy babies begin to relax when they suck, which is why breastfeeding, a bottle, or a pacifier may help them to finally soothe and stop crying
We totally understand how frustrating it can be to have a crying baby that is difficult to soothe. If you have a support person or partner, ask them to take over and try their hand at calming your little one if you’re feeling flustered. And if you’re simply at your wit’s end, the safest thing for your little one is to place them in a secure place (like their crib), leave the room and take deep breaths until you feel calm enough to address their crying again. You’ve got this, mama.