We know that no one wants to consider something going wrong in their pregnancy. But we’re here to talk about all aspects of motherhood…the joyful moments, and the hard-to-imagine ones, too. We’d like to caution you to guard your heart before reading on as we discuss the incredibly difficult topic of stillbirth. We’ll share how a stillbirth is diagnosed, why they happen, and the options for delivering this type of pregnancy loss.
What Is a Stillbirth?
When an unborn baby dies in the uterus after 20 weeks of pregnancy, it’s referred to as a stillbirth (medically known as intrauterine fetal demise). Stillbirth affects about 1 in 160 births in the United States. When a baby dies before 20 weeks, it’s known as a miscarriage. Both can be incredibly devastating, and require special care and attention.
How Are Stillbirths Typically Diagnosed?
In most cases a stillbirth happens prior to labor beginning, and is diagnosed at an appointment or ultrasound. During each routine prenatal appointment, your provider will check for your little one’s heartbeat. If the heartbeat isn’t found, an ultrasound will be done immediately. If no heartbeat is detected, the baby will be classified as stillborn.
While there’s not always an indication that something is wrong with a pregnancy, some women say that their baby isn’t moving and kicking as usual, or have unusual cramps, pain, or bleeding. If you’re pregnant and any of these symptoms occur, call your provider immediately or go to the nearest emergency department.
In some instances, a stillbirth can happen during labor and delivery. Luckily this is a rare occurrence, and your care team will work to prevent this by using electronic fetal monitoring during the birthing process. By continuously monitoring the fetal heart rate, your provider can take the right steps to keep both you and your baby as safe as possible throughout childbirth.
What Causes Stillbirth?
Every instance of stillbirth is different—and most causes of stillbirth simply aren’t known. Some possible reasons for a stillbirth include:
- Growth problems due to issues with the placenta or the fetus’ circulation
- Infections (such as listeria, syphilis, parvovirus, etc.)
- Medical conditions in the pregnant person (such as high blood pressure, kidney disease, diabetes, etc.)
- Umbilical cord issues
- Labor and delivery complications
- Birth defects or genetic disorders
Not having answers about the “why” of such a loss is impossibly frustrating, but in some cases your provider may be able to help find answers as to why a stillbirth occurred. While these options aren’t always available, a review of your medical history, an evaluation of the placenta, an autopsy, or genetic testing could help determine the cause of a stillbirth.
One thing that’s certain? A stillbirth is never a woman’s fault. If you experience a pregnancy loss or stillbirth, feelings of guilt or fault may start to creep in that you did something to cause your loss. But mama—stillbirth is so often something that simply can’t be predicted or prevented, and it’s not your fault.
What Are the Options for Delivering a Stillborn Baby?
This truly depends how far along a woman is in her pregnancy when a stillbirth is discovered. The provider should outline the delivery options that best suit your health, the stage of your pregnancy, and your wishes. Early in the second trimester a procedure called a dilation and evacuation (often called a D&E) may be an option. Later in your pregnancy, labor induction might be the best option to deliver your stillborn baby.
How Can I Manage My Grief after a Stillbirth?
While there’s no easy answer to this question, the best thing is time. Grief is a process, and acknowledging your loss alongside your loved ones is so important for being able to move forward. The mourning stage will be different for everyone after a tragic loss, and your feelings may vary between numbness, blame, anger, depression, and—at some point—acceptance.
In the weeks and months following a stillbirth, it’s important to speak with your provider if you experience lasting signs of depression—they may be able to recommend counseling or other treatment. Talk to your provider about your plans for another pregnancy—when you’re ready. Most people who get pregnant again after a stillbirth have a healthy pregnancy and baby.
It can be incredibly helpful to talk to others who are currently going through, or have gone through similar losses. Even through an unimaginable event like stillbirth, you may find comfort in knowing you aren’t alone. If you’re reading this and have had a stillbirth, we’re so very sorry for your loss. Know that your baby was so very lucky to have you for a mama, no matter how brief your time together was.
For support groups and to connect with others in the local community who have experienced stillbirth or pregnancy loss, visit Share of Lancaster.