“Being present in the moment” has become a popular expression as people strive to be truly aware and mindful of what is happening in the here and now—not distracted by the past or worried about future.
Sometimes during a counseling session, I ask: "What percentage of you is in the room with me right now?" I've heard everything from 20 to 70 percent. No one has ever said 100 percent.
Of course, I only ask when I can feel that it's a struggle for the person to stay present and really be here for what is happening in our session. But it's tough to really be here…and not just during emotional counseling sessions.
Being Present Is Not Easy
Being present for, and experiencing fully, all that being alive has to offer us in a certain moment is hard. This is especially true when your mind insists on running through all the tasks on your to-do list. Or the friend with whom you just had a weird, unsettling talk. Maybe it’s the family member who hasn't texted you back, or expectations you fear you won't meet.
How Our Minds Work
Our minds are designed to remember, plan, judge, anticipate, and worry. That's their job, in part, and how they keep us safe. We have to go back to painful memories so we can avoid similar situations in the future. We have to anticipate what's coming so that we don't let people down and threaten our important relationships. Our minds do their very best!
But sometimes, especially when we are feeling pressured or under a lot of stress, our thoughts become colored and driven by anxiety. Our worried thoughts take up way too much room, and become much larger than the worries themselves. They crowd out the space we need for noticing what is happening in the here and now. When our thoughts race ahead of us, it's easy to miss the pleasures and joys of our everyday lives.
Ways to Come Back to Your Body
How can you slow down enough to notice and be nurtured by your own unique experience of being alive?
One good way is to bring your mind and body closer together. When our thoughts race ahead, we become disembodied. That leaves the door open for anxiety to really take over.
Some ways to come back to your body are:
- Take three deep, slow breaths.
- Name a color, and find five things in your field of vision that color.
- Listen to peaceful music.
- Take a walk and notice the sounds you hear outside.
- Feel your feet touching the floor and focus on what that feels like.
- Talk to a friend and sustain eye contact. Ask for a hug if you'd like one.
- Run, swim, stretch, walk, dance, bike, lift, practice yoga.
I have a magnet with a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh in my office. It reads: Because you are alive, everything is possible.
When we cultivate more presence, even in the midst of a busy time we can experience the truth of this sentiment. Life can offer us delicious flavors, beautiful sights, unexpected sounds, the faces of the people we love, all sorts of small surprises. And those pleasures make the hard stuff so much easier to manage!
Help is Available
If you could use some support with managing the hard stuff, or making more space for the good stuff, Lancaster General Health licensed clinical counselors are available at our family medicine practices.
If you are experiencing a behavioral health emergency that needs immediate help, please call 911, go to the nearest emergency department, or call Lancaster County Crisis Intervention at 717-394-2631.