Published:
November 15, 2022
When dealing with infertility, the stress, anxiety, and loneliness that many experience can be difficult to manage—especially if it feels like you’re constantly surrounded by pregnant people. Taking care of your physical and emotional health is so important when trying to grow your family, and even more so when fertility treatments begin. Here are some steps you can take to help keep your perspective as positive as possible when trying to conceive.
Seek Support
The first thing to remember is that you’re not alone in your experience with infertility. About 15 percent of couples experience infertility, and nearly 7.3 million people in the US have sought infertility services. Although this doesn’t diminish the pain and frustration you may be feeling, these numbers mean that there is a large community of support available for you. Don’t hesitate to connect with others who have been in your position for comfort and advice.
Understand Your Options
One of the most difficult parts of infertility is not knowing what steps to take when you haven’t been able to get, or stay, pregnant. If you’re in this situation, a fertility specialist can help you make a plan and discuss all of your options with you. Understanding all of the different treatments and procedures is key to staying positive about your current situation, and feeling confident in the steps you’ll take to achieve your fertility goals.
Be Kind to Yourself and Honest with Your Partner
While the emotions you are experiencing about infertility are completely normal, dealing with them in a healthy way can make all the difference as you and your partner move forward with treatments.
Start by acknowledging your feelings. Be honest with yourself and your partner about your emotions—whether you’re feeling guilt, sadness, jealousy, anger, depression. It’s all OK—and it’s all valid. Having open and honest conversations can strengthen your relationship in the face of this difficult time. If having open lines of communication is hard for one or both of you, don’t be afraid to reach out for help from a counselor or therapist.
Do Something You Enjoy Every Day
Whether it’s taking a walk, writing in a journal, binge-watching a favorite show, or connecting with a friend, make sure to put a fun activity on your agenda whenever possible. Overcoming infertility can be overwhelming and exhausting. Finding moments of happiness can certainly help lighten your emotional load.
Stay Close to Your Partner
When you’ve been trying to conceive for an extended period of time, intimacy may start to feel forced. Try to find ways to reconnect outside of trying to get pregnant. Intimacy of all kinds can make you feel connected in your partnership. Intimacy without having sex includes things like: holding hands, giving hugs, cooking a meal together, going on a hike, and even something simple as having a conversation without distractions.
Consider Seeing a Fertility Counselor
Infertility can affect so many areas of your life outside of your family. This difficult time can affect your relationships, your perspective on life, and even how you feel about yourself. If you’re experiencing any of the following, we recommend seeking the help of a fertility counselor as soon as possible:
- Persistent feelings of sadness
- Social isolation
- Depression
- Agitation or anxiety
- Loss of interest in usual activities and relationships
- Mood swings
- Constant preoccupation with infertility
- Marital problems
- Difficulty with “scheduled” intercourse
- Difficulty concentrating
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Changes in appetite, weight, or sleep patterns
- Thoughts about suicide or death
Seek Out Additional Resources
These resources recommended by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine may be helpful in addressing a variety of concerns and issues when it comes to your experience getting pregnant. The list is by no means exhaustive. If you require help regarding other topics, please consult the patient resources section of ReproductiveFacts.org or your healthcare professional.
- Choice Moms: An organization to help single women who proactively decide to become the best mother they can, through adoption or conception
- Fertile Hope: A national LIVESTRONG initiative dedicated to providing reproductive information, support, and hope to cancer patients and survivors whose medical treatments present the risk of infertility
- Frank Talk: A peer-support Website dedicated to helping men deal with erectile dysfunction
- InterNational Council on Infertility Information Dissemination, Inc. (INCIID)
- North American Council on Adoptable Children: An organization committed to meeting the needs of waiting children and the families who adopt them, nacac.org
- Parents Via Egg Donation: An organization created to provide information to parents and parents-to-be and to share information about all facets of the egg donation process
- Pop Luck Club: The Pop Luck Club has evolved into a substantial voice, helping to support the growth of our wonderfully diverse LBGT community
- RESOLVE: A national infertility support organization
- Single Mothers by Choice: Offering support and information to single women who are considering motherhood and to single mothers who have chosen this path to parenthood
The tips and resources above all have something in common: self-care. You are dealing with circumstances that can be complicated, difficult, and emotionally draining. Do your best to focus on you, and the things you need to do for your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Our team at Penn Fertility Care - Lancaster General Health is always here for you in your fertility journey.