Crying, Age 3 and Younger

Overview

Crying lets others know when a young child is hungry, wet, tired, too warm, too cold, lonely, or in pain. If your child is crying, try to figure out the type of cry. It helps to go through a mental checklist of what might be wrong and to make sure that your child is safe and cared for. But remember that there may be nothing bothering your child. As parents or caregivers respond to the young child's other signals (such as whimpering, facial expressions, and wiggling), the child will usually cry less.

Parents and caregivers become better over time at knowing the cause of a young child's cry. A young child will often have different kinds of cries.

Crying related to normal development and behavior

• Hungry cries. These cries start with a whimper and become louder and longer. Your hungry child will eagerly accept feeding and stop crying.
• Upset cries. They are loud and start suddenly. Your young child may be afraid, bored, or lonely. As your child gets older, upset crying may be a reaction to such things as loud noises, frustration with clothing or toys, or fear of strangers.
• Pain cries. These start with a high-pitched, strong wail followed by loud crying. These cries sound very irritating. They may make you feel anxious. A young child in pain will often have other signs of pain along with crying. In many cases, pain cries may be caused by:
• • A recent immunization. Your child may be fussy, cry more than usual, and have a fever after getting a vaccine, especially diphtheria, tetanus, and pertussis (DTaP) shots. But your child will look well even while crying.
  • Teething . Teething symptoms may start about 3 to 5 days before a tooth breaks the skin. But symptoms can occur off and on for 1 to 2 months. The most common symptoms of teething include swelling, tenderness, or discomfort in the gums at the site of the erupting tooth; drooling; biting on fingers or toys; crankiness; or trouble sleeping. Teething may cause a mild increase in your child's temperature. But if the temperature is higher than 100.4°F (38°C), look for symptoms that may be related to an infection or illness.
  • Constipation. A crying episode that occurs when the child is trying to pass a stool normally will stop when the stool is passed.
  • Diaper rash . Irritated skin around the thighs, genitals, buttocks, or belly may make a child cry, especially when a diaper is wet or soiled.
  • Colic . All babies cry. But sometimes a baby will cry for hours at a time, no matter what you do. This extreme type of crying in a baby who is between 3 weeks and 3 months of age is called colic. While it is upsetting for parents and caregivers, colic is normal for babies. Doctors usually diagnose colic when a healthy baby cries harder than expected in a "3" pattern: more than 3 hours a day at least 3 days a week for at least 3 weeks in a row. The crying is usually worst when babies are around 6 to 8 weeks of age. It goes away on its own between 8 and 14 weeks of age. Doctors aren't sure what causes colic. It may be related to gas in the belly or an immature nervous system.
  • Belly cramps from overfeeding or milk intolerance. Overeating or swallowing too much air during feeding can cause belly cramps. These cramps can make a baby cry. Crying also may occur if your child is sensitive to milk protein. The baby will often spit up some of the feeding and may have loose stools.
  • A minor illness, such as a cold or stomach flu (gastroenteritis). Crying related to an illness often starts suddenly. In most cases, there are other signs of illness such as fever, looking sick, and decreased appetite.
  • Minor injuries. Your child is likely to cry when they have an injury, such as an eyelash in the eye, an insect bite, or an open diaper pin in the skin.
• Overtired or overstimulated cries. Crying can be your young child's way of releasing tension when there is too much noise, movement, or activity in the environment or when they are overtired.

Crying related to a serious illness or injury

In rare cases, crying may point to a serious illness or injury. This type of crying usually lasts much longer than normal, and your baby may not be acting normally.

• Some illnesses may cause persistent crying. These include common infections, such as ear infections (otitis media) or urinary tract infections, and rarer infections, such as meningitis, encephalitis, or sepsis with dehydration. A persistent cry in a newborn may be the first sign of a serious illness, such as sepsis.
• A serious injury from a fall, being shaken, or abuse may cause a child to cry for a long time. There are usually other signs of injury, such as swelling, bruising, or bleeding.

Crying and abusive head trauma

Crying can be very frustrating for a parent or caregiver. But never shake or harm your child. Shaking a child in anger or playing rough, such as throwing a child into the air, can injure the brain. Abusive head trauma needs to be reported to your doctor. If you find that you are losing patience or are afraid that you may hurt your child:

• Place your child in a safe place while you go into another room, relax, and calm yourself.
• Ask someone to help you. If you can't find someone to take over for you and you still feel out of control, call your doctor.

Crying related to medical conditions

Certain medical conditions can cause a young child to cry. They include gastroesophageal reflux, inguinal hernia, and intussusception.

Self-Care

Crying is a normal part of your child's life. Stay as calm as possible during crying episodes. There are many different ways to approach a child's crying. Over time you will understand what your child needs and know how to care for them.

It may be helpful to keep a record of your child's crying to see whether there is a pattern that you can discuss with your child's doctor.

Checklist of common reasons a child cries

Use this checklist to help you figure out the reason for your child's crying and take action to eliminate the cause of the crying. Remember that the crying may be normal for your child. Ask yourself whether your child:

• Is hungry. Does your child need to be burped? Do they need to suck (on a finger, pacifier, bottle, or breast)?
• Needs a diaper change.
• Needs to be moved to a more comfortable position.
• Is afraid, bored, or lonely.
• Is too warm (feels warm) or too cold. Young children usually have cool hands and feet. When they are cold, their hands and feet will be colder than usual. If you think your child may be cold, check the arms, thighs, or back of the neck for skin cool to the touch.
• Is hurting from something pinching or poking the skin.
• Is overstimulated. Crying can be a young child's way of releasing tension when there is too much noise, movement, or activity in their environment or when they are overtired.
• Is uncomfortable from teething. Young children who are teething can be fretful and cry more than usual because their gums are swollen and sore. Children who are teething drool more than usual and may try to rub their gums with toys or fingers.
• Had a recent immunization. If you think your child is uncomfortable from a recent immunization, talk to your doctor about what medicine may help.

  Do not give aspirin to anyone younger than age 20.

Comforting measures

If you don't find a reason for your child's crying, try comforting techniques, such as rocking your baby, breastfeeding, or offering a pacifier after breastfeeding is going well. If your child continues to cry after you have tried home treatment, place them in a safe, quiet place and leave them alone for 15 to 20 minutes. Sometimes children can relax and soothe themselves. Be sure to stay close by.

Talk with your child's doctor before giving your child any nonprescription medicines or herbal remedies as a comfort measure. Products with alcohol or sugar in them are not recommended.

Never shake or harm your child. Shaking a child in anger or playing rough, such as throwing a baby up into the air and catching them, can cause abusive head trauma. If you find that you are losing patience or are afraid that you may hurt your child:

• Place your child in a safe place while you go into another room, relax, and calm yourself.
• Ask someone to help you. If you cannot find someone to take over for you and you still feel out of control, call your doctor.

Illness or injury that may cause a child to cry

If you are concerned that your child's crying is because of a more serious illness or injury, your child may need to be checked by a doctor.

Helping a tired or overstimulated child

Small children sometimes cry to release tension when they are overtired or overstimulated. This happens when they have been held by a lot of people in a short amount of time or exposed to lots of noise, bright lights, loud voices, or music.

You can protect your child from becoming overtired by keeping a regular routine for meals, naps, and play times.

If your child is crying because they are overtired or overstimulated, try the following:

• Reduce the noise in the room.
• Reduce the amount of movement and visual stimulation in the room.

  Turn down the lights and ask others not to bother your child.

• Turn on white noise.

  Turn on a continuous, monotonous sound, such as a vacuum cleaner or a recording of ocean waves. Sometimes these sounds soothe and relax a child.

• Try letting your child settle down on their own.

  Place your child in a safe place, close the door, and set a kitchen timer for 10 to 15 minutes. If your child has not settled down after 10 to 15 minutes, check to see whether there is another reason for their crying.

When to call for help during self-care

Call a doctor if any of the following occur during self-care at home:

• Decreased alertness.
• Decreased activity and crying in a way that is not usual.
• New or worse pain.
• Symptoms occur more often or are more severe.

Learn more

Watch

Preparing For Your Appointment